Bookreview.com Review
By John Lehman
February 14, 2008
I assume that people interested in life-coaching books have tried Dr. Phil and Tony Robbins. So why are they still looking? My guess is that the approach of modifying behavior by being conscious of the results of our actions only goes so far. Paul Edward provides a psychological model that is deeper. He identifies the resources (friends, business associates and family) that can be the meta-structure we need for lasting behavioral modification. I teach writing workshops and have discovered the same thing. All the tools in the world won’t help if a person doesn’t have correct orientation and a positive support system in place. To be honest this approach proves less an “Ah ha!” revelation and more of a “there’s work to be done on several levels” type guide. But as the author quotes another teacher: “If you keep on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got!”
There are five strategies for moving forward in life. Each is given a thorough explanation with examples. I particularly like the exercises (and there are more as we get further into the material) so the reader can internalize the ideas and start to experience the difference his or her new realizations can make. I love the one on assessing ways in which others communicate, the pie chart for balancing time allocation and the one for reformatting material dreams. I happen to have bought a new computer this week and was amazed how accurately my style of evaluation of information was described here, and I was able to apply some of the distinctions between introverts and extroverts to the different ways my wife and I interact with each other (and the different ways in which we each reenergize). Those classifications fall under the heading of what Edward calls “Belongings”—who we associate with in the world--and is one of the most difficult areas to change (“Behavior” is the easiest, “Belief” somewhat harder).
The decision making section was particularly revealing to me as someone who for years made his living in sales and marketing. My intention was not to sell someone something he or she didn’t want (and would later resent me for) but to provide enough information so that person could make a good decision based upon their own needs and desires. For some people this is “sensory” and for others “intuitive.” Being able to assess the difference, as the author points out, makes life easier in both personal and professional relationships. And people evaluate according to different criteria too. In reviewing this book I feel compelled to point to specific examples; in reality I have a good feeling toward the author and the optimism of what he says and that affects my judgment more.
“There are two types of people in this world,” someone once noted, “those who think there are two types of people in this world and those who don’t.” Paul Edward seems to see things in terms of A or B (and A’s who pretend to be B’s; while some B’s are trapped into being A’s.) I don’t have any trouble with that. If nothing else it makes the differences more dramatic and easy to grasp. Here you will find a clear exploration of types of relationships and a practical formula for achieving success (Dream + Plan = Life Vision). But read this book, not only because the material is well presented and makes you think, but also because it will enrich important aspects of your life, and, yes, allow you to “move forward.”
